Uh, Phrasing! – 10 Awesome Archer Tees and Tops

Uh, Phrasing!

10 Awesome Archer Tees and Tops

Who doesn’t love Archer, I mean, seriously? The acting is awesome, the humor is razor sharp, and the animation is insane. It’s the perfect blend of sexy and suave, of slapstick and slick. He’s everyone’s favourite super-spy, and yet we can’t help but pray for him to get his comeuppance.

If you too, are an Archer fan, then you’ll love these tees and tops.

 


 

Archer is probably about as far from a social drinker as it gets. I mean, how many times have we seen him shake up antifreeze and Tang? Or rubbing alcohol and Tang? Or… Pretty much anything, and Tang. Darn, he just loves Tang, doesn’t he. But then again, who doesn’t? And now you too can channel your inner Archer, denial and all, with this funny, yet explanatory top that makes all of your excuses for you.

 

 

 

Is Archer being President such a bad thing? I mean, it seems anyone can get elected these days. For all his faults, Sterling Archer, the silver-tongued croc-fearing tactile-neck wearing idiot is a good guy. He’s doing right by baby AJ, and he’s even stopped having relations with ladies of the night. Therefore, I declare that should anyone else feel as strongly as I do that Archer is fit to lead the country, then yee shall buy this top, and yee shall wear it proudly.

 

 

 

Don’t we all crave a Lana-Archer relationship in our lives? The dangerous, yet sex, yet super-deadly sort of relationship that gets us hot under the collars, resulting in an illegitimate child born from artificial insemination? Ok, maybe not the last bit, but probably the first. And now, you can show off that secret desire by sporting one of the most well known Archer gags. If you ask me, I just think she likes hearing him scream her name. But then again, who wouldn’t?

 

 

 

Perhaps the only thing that occupies as much space in Archer’s heart as Lana… And AJ… And drinking… Is ocelots, and more specifically Baboo. We first learn of Archer’s ocelot-adoration in the first season when Cheryl lets slip that she has one for a pet. And, despite it’s ferocity, and incessant urination, Archer still forces himself upon it (in a platonic way, don’t worry). Combine that with Archer’s long-standing love of Lacrosse, and the place on earth he might just be happiest, and voila, you have his fantasy lacrosse team, and the shirt to go with it. You’re welcome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve all made the faux pas of getting a little too drunk at Christmas. And we’ve also all muddled words. And at one point (at least some of us), have turned up with blood on our shirts – curiously though, it wasn’t ours, and we don’t know how it got there. Weird.

Christmas also seems to be Archer’s favourite time of year. Likely because of the day drinking. But, we don’t mind, because it’s resulted in an awesome collection of clothes.

 

 

There’s no fuss, no muss, but we still have maximum effort here. A signature Archer dive, complete with dual Walther P9s? What more could a die-hard Archer fan want? It’s got Christmas spirit, and your favourite super-spy. Awesome!

 

 

 

 

I’m not quite sure anything with Archer’s face on it can qualify as ugly, but the designers of this one have done their best. In a pop art-esque halftone tiled design, Archer is surrounded by things that pale in both size, and comparison to his mightiness. It’s a blast from the past, and a nod to days gone by. And yet, it’s still cool, relevant, and it has Archer’s face on it. It’s wins all round.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Archer’s face on the American flag, and it’s Christmas themed. What else is there to say? It celebrates everything that he loves. Flags. Christmas. Clothes. Well, maybe he doesn’t like clothes that much, considering how much time he spends out of them. Except for his Tactile Neck, of course – patent pending. This one’s nice and simple, and can’t not be appreciated by Archer fans the world over.

 


 

 

Backed by the classic Bond-themed tiled intro that we all love, along with the silenced Walther, Archer appears here in his trademark grey suit. He’s not battered, bruised, bleeding, or escaping from an enraged husband, which makes a nice change. So, if you’re the sort of person who likes his Archer clean and tidy, pre-violence and drunkenness, then this might just be the top for you.

 

 

 

He’s at it again. Drinking. Shooting. Diving. Drinking. Chrismasing. The works. This bold design shows him off in all his glory, and all its missing is… Well, nothing. It looks sweet as it is, and, as an added bonus, it warns people not to come near you, because you know, you are the danger zone – which, in my humble opinion, seems like an excuse to get monumentally drunk. Channel your inner-Archer and find some Tang!

Alright fellow gamers, dreamers, and schemers, until next time.

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My Precious – Geek Jewelry Galore!

If you’ve ever played an RPG, you know that jewelry is important. Whether it’s an enchanted circlet that lets you regen your magicka faster, a gold necklace to buff your charisma levels, a pendant that vibrates in the presence of monsters, or a ring that turns you invisible, it doesn’t matter. Adornments are key for making your quest a little easier, and letting everyone else know exactly who they’re dealing with.

 

And now, you can get your hands on some outside the game, too. We’ve rounded up our favourite pieces for you, so that you can rock and rep your favourite game, movie, or series everywhere you go.

 

Geek JewelryThe One Ring

Come on – what list of geek jewellery would be complete with this? Ok, so it may not be the real one ring, and it probably won’t turn you invisible. But, it comes in gold, silver, or black, complete with the Elven Etchings, alla Celebrimbor. Don’t know who that is? Well, then I don’t think you deserve the one ring after all. Yeah. It’s mine. Hands off. You can’t have it, filthy Hobbits! It’s… It’s… Uh… Ahem, sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me. On second thoughts, maybe you’d better take it off my hands.

 

Harry Potter WatchHarry Potter Pocket Watch

Want to make telling the time more of a hassle? Well, then you need a pocket watch. All joking aside, this excellent looking Hogwarts timepiece is a functioning watch hewn from stainless steel. With two choices to choose from, and precise and intricate engraving on each, this watch makes the perfect gift for any Potter obsessed fan – which, let’s face it is all of us, right? Never miss another Quidditch match again with this bad boy. The only catch is that it’s non magical. Before we brought them home from Diagon Alley, they told us that if we were selling to muggles that we’d have to have all the enchantments removed – so other than telling the time and looking awesome, it doesn’t do much else. Still though, pretty cool, right?

 

Game Of Thrones NecklaceGame of Thrones Necklace

I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive Roose Bolton, or George RR Martin for the Red Wedding. I always was, and always will be a bannerlord of House Stark, and I firmly believed in the King in the North. I mean, Jon will do, but let’s all face fact – he’s no Rob Stark. That’s why I’ve got a House Stark pendant. If, however, your allegiances lie elsewhere, isn’t it your duty to bare their crest? With nine designs to choose from, including the Lannister Lion, Targaryen Dragon, the Baratheon Stag, and the Squid of the Iron Isles, you couldn’t ask for more.

 

Master Sword NecklaceZelda Necklace

Would it be cliched to say it? I don’t care, I’m saying it anyway. It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this. Damn, I’ve always wanted to say that. Ok, so it may not be the Master Sword that goes with that quote, but come on, I couldn’t pass it up. With eighteen games in the series, the Legend of Zelda (which should be called the Legend of Link, really, shouldn’t it) persists as timelessly as its hero. And, with a weapon as glorious the Master Sword (also known as the Sword of Evil’s Bane, the Sword of Time, the Sword of Resurrection, and the Sword that Seals the Darkness, if you’re as big a Zelda nerd as me), how could there not be likenesses made that one can wear around their neck? I’ll tell you what – I never leave home without mine. It’s too damn dangerous!

 

Doctor Who NecklaceDr Who Necklace

If time travel is your thing… Or was… Or will be… Whatever… Then you probably love Doctor Who. What started as an unsure leap for the BBC into the big bad world of sci-fi way back in 1962 developed and evolved into one of the most beloved global sci-fi series in the world. And now, you can own your very own inter-dimensional spaceship. Unfortunately, it doesn’t come with a miniaturized version of the doctor, or his trusty crew, but still – it’s pretty cool. Available in silver, gold, or trademark blue, this Tardis pendant will let everyone know that they are in the presence of a Whovian.

It’s Avengers fever! Leading up to the release of the biggest movie of the year, you can show your Marvel spirit with this excellent charm bracelet. With all your favourite heroes, from Thor, to Cap, and even Deadpool, this Marvel themed piece of kit is a must have for anyone who likes to get their comic fix at least once daily. With removable charms, too, you can customize it to your liking, making space for your favourites, and casting asunder those that don’t make your own personal Avengers squad. Without this, can you really say you’re ready to assemble?

 

Yennefer NecklaceYennefer Necklace

It’s not really Yennefer’s choker, but it’s close enough, right? For any Witcher fan with a girlfriend who’s been trawling the internet looking for a stuffed unicorn, or for any Witcher fangirl that fancies herself a Yen to-be, complete with a milky haired sourpuss-paramor, this choker is a must have. Its soft velveteen choker, combined with a solid metal pendant makes this a gorgeous piece, no matter what colour you choose, or whose neck it’s hanging off.

 

Alright fellow gamers, dreamers, and schemers, until next time.

 

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On Your Left! – 5 tops to get you into the Avengers spirit!

What started as a far from humble outing in 2008 when Robert Downey Junior stepped onto our screens, and proceeded to thereafter dominate them, has grown and culminated in the boldest and most ambitious shared cinematic universe in history. Grossing more now than Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or any other series of movies you can think of, the Marvel universe continues to grow to new heights.

When Tony’s second outing in Iron Man 2 saw Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury enter the limelight, every Marvel fan in the world shivered with excitement. When the announcement of Avengers came, we all leapt for joy, and it was warranted. Joss Whedon’s two back to back out-of-this-world Avengers home runs propelled the universe to new heights and rammed home that the stories were of people, and of love, and loss, and friendship, and heartache. What was once a fun aside from serious films for out of sorts actors became a legitimate career move. Huge actors began to flock to superhero movies, and the genre defined itself as respectable, and wonderfully successful. Global stars began flooding into the Marvel universe, and now, we’ve got them all coming together in the most anticipated movie event of, dare I say it, the decade?

I’ll be at the midnight opening, and I’m not ashamed to say it. I’ll be there, along with hundreds of others, because it’s going to be amazing. And if you want to show your Avengers spirit, too, then why not grab yourself one of these excellent tops?

 

 

Whether you support Hydra or not, you have to admit that they trump the Avengers hands down when it comes to cool logos. This collection of awesome tees, tops, and tanks comes to you with the classic varsity insignia look. The squid-skull… thing (that actually doesn’t bear any resemblance to an actual Hydra, I might add), takes pride of place in the centre of this design, accented perfectly in red and white. Whether people will think it’s a real university or not isn’t really relevant. If you’re a Hydra supporter, you don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks, anyway. Hail Hydra!

 

 

Or, maybe you’re one of those goodie-two shoes Avengers? Hey, we don’t judge. You wear what you want to wear. Leading up to this Thanos showdown, they’re going to need as much help as they can get!

Can you wear it to the Avengers premier? Heck yeah. Will it make you look like a weird super-fan? Not next to the guy in the full iron-man cosplay it won’t. Show your Avengers spirit with this awesome Varsity style university design. Avenger’s University would be really fun to go to, though I kinda feel like it would be tough, you know? What with Stark, Banner, Parker, Strange, and Vision being in charge. Can they all be geniuses? It that even fair?

 

 

Ah, what a simpler time 2014 was. We all remember this gag, in DC (the place, not the comic) where Cap is running past Wilson (falcon) and keeps saying ‘On your Left’. It was probably the funniest part of what was an otherwise serious outing for the Marvel gang. It remains one of my favourite Marvel movies (top 3), though I’m not going to get into that with you guys now because it’s one of those discussions that goes on far to long, and always ends with tears – usually mine. But, if, like me, you appreciate Winter Soldier for the masterpiece that it was, or you like to confuse people as you run through the park with obscure references that they probably won’t get, then this is the tee for you. It also comes as a tank, and hoodies too, if you, you know, really want to work up a sweat.

 

 

Ah, Christmas, a time for family, and cheer (two of Rogers’ favourite things), and of course saying that you’re totally against killing people, but then irreparably maiming them with your superhuman punches and a swift vibranium shield-smack to the face. Ah, the joy,

But, in all seriousness, this is one of those great pieces of clothing that you can wear to Christmas parties and get-togethers without losing your Marvel Spirit. While everyone else is cavorting about in itchy knits adorned with cotton wool beards and light-up Christmas trees with real tinsel, you can languish in the soft embrace of Captain America’s face. Sounds perfect to me.

 

The 2016 showdown was absolutely inescapable. You could not move for seeing one of their names plastered somewhere. It was talker versus the doer, the good versus the questionable, the tall versus the short, the red versus the blue, the old versus the young. Of course, I’m talking about Civil War, and if you thought it was anything else then shame on you. We don’t talk about the real world. We’re all about the fantasy and the makebelieve, which was why the only flags we were waving in 2016 had the words ‘Stark’ or ‘Rogers’ on them.

A void was carved between two of our favourite characters – but we can expect them to reunite in the coming Infinity War movie, even if it is just to face a greater evil. And heck, if you don’t think they’re going to make up then how do you explain Cap growing a beard if it’s not a symbolic tribute to the Stark shaped hole in his heart?

You can’t disprove that, so that’s the fan theory we’re sticking with. Show off your compassion for what was an emotional rollercoaster, and rock this top to make sure no one forgets the sacrifices that were made in 2016 in the name of honour and the greater good.

Superhero Landing! – Downright Awesome Deadpool Tops

It’s bittersweet, you know? We have the Deadpool we all sat up at night dreaming about – sure. Ryan Reynolds is the perfect Wade Wilson, there’s no denying that. And he’s certainly a better DP than he was Hal Jordan. But, if you dig deep into that bank of repressed memories, you might be able to dredge out those from May 2009 when Deadpool first (kind of) appeared on our screens. It was X Men Origins: Wolverine, and he showed up without the mutations, wielding swords, before having his mouth sewn shut and gaining the ability to teleport and shoot lazers out of his eyes. It wasn’t a good time for anyone.

 

And now, I guess we’re just supposed to forget that and consider it only semi-canon in regards to Logan, but not in regards to Wade… We’re sort of glad, though, because these awesome tops would look horrible if they were adorned with the face that plagued the last twenty minutes of that movie. Still gives me the shivers now. But, they’re not, and they don’t – yay.


 

Minimal design, maximum effort. This simple, yet effective top is a no fuss, no muss shout out to our favourite hero. If it was just the eyes, it would be cool, but it’s that signature Deadpool what the shhhh eyebrow pop that makes Dwayne Johnson go weak at the knees. It’s bold and brash, and embodied everything Deadpool. Note: does not give the wearer superhuman abilities.


 

There are those who do good because it’s their duty, and there are those who do good because they get paid to. And then there are those who do anything they get paid to. The first two are heroes and heroes for hire, and the third one is what you’d call a ‘Mercenary’. Is Deadpool a Mercenary? Sure. He’s described as the ‘Merc with the mouth’, a gun-toting antihero who’s not got much in the way if qualms when it comes to feeding anyone a bullet. Did he go to school for it? No. But, if he could have, then he probably would have gone to Mercenary University.


 

Whatcha see here is a pair of Desert Eagle Mark XIX – ‘Pool’s favourite pea-shooters. In classic DP read, with the signature eyes, this top lets everyone know that not only do you like Deadpool, but you like him enough to wear his face on your chest. All joking aside, this is a cool design that’s going to see you through the Deadpool 2, and 3 premiers. As far as simple yet effective goes, this top is up there.


 

There’s something magical about a piece of clothing that can express a complex human sentiment. Whether it’s a leather jacket that says ‘Screw the establishment!’ a cowboy hat that says ‘I year for a simpler time’, or simply a Deadpool tee that says ‘Suck it.’ You’ll find plenty of joy in wearing this, and pointing to it any time you want to tell someone to suck it, without actually saying those words. Because, let’s face it, none of us want to engage in direct conversation with humans, but passively aggressively gesturing to your shirt? Hell, that’s easy.


 

Deadpool’s glorious red on black look has pervaded every level of pop culture. From hardcore cosplayers, right down to kids movies, this blood-drenched, cussing neck chopper is utterly inescapable. It’s a trend, even, to pick other pop culture icons and dress them up as Deadpool. Point and fact – Baymax. There’s likely not a character alive less akin to Wade Wilson, but, you have to admit that he does look dashing in red.


 

If you look up the word ‘chimichanga’, you’ll find it’s a combination of the words ‘seared/singed’ and ‘insult’ (loosely). So, is it any coincidence then that this is the most talkative (and insulting) hero’s favourite food? Probably not. Basically, you take a beef and bean fajita, and deep fry it. Then, cover it with cheese, and eat it. Sounds delicious, right? Well, did you expect such a discerning palate as that of Wade Wilson to succumb to anything less? No? Didn’t think so.


 

Boba Fett and Deadpool have quite a lot in common. They both kill people for money. They both have awesome costumes. They’re both quick to the trigger. And, they both look great on the front of a tee shirt. So what could be better then, than Boba-Pool? It’s Boba Fett’s armour, wrapped around Deadpool’s beautiful biceps, with a slick red paint job. I can almost hear Robert Downey Jr. asking Jarvis to ‘throw in a little hot rod red’. We can pray for a crossover, but whether one will ever come, who can say. And yet, there’s always hope.


 

Since Despicable Me came out, Minions stole the hearts of millions. So much so that they even got their own movie. Few satellite characters ever aspire to such heights, and now, on top of their box-office outing, they’ve scored themselves a Deadpool crossover tee shirt? Talk about jackpot. This thing will suit anyone who wants to bring a little lightness to the blood and gore that comes part and parcel with Deadpool.

 

And that’s just the beginning! We’ve got so many more excellent Deadpool tops and other things – like replicate ninja swords. Oh yeah.

 

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May the fourth be with you – It’s Star Wars day!

May the fourth is of course Star Wars day. The issue comes now, that you can’t watch them all in one day.

If you watch them in chronological order: Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, Rogue One, A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Force Awakens, The Last Jedi; then you’ll likely keel over of exhaustion before you’re done, some 20 hours in.

However, despite this being the obvious order to watch them in, there are other options. You can view the full list here: https://www.gamesradar.com/which-order-should-you-watch-the-star-wars-movies-in-it-isnt-actually-that-obvious/ and you’ll get the full brunt of the cinematic universe in an interesting way, no matter how you want to tailor your viewing experience.

If you are brave, though, and would like to view them in a different order, in their totality, then I (personally, because I’ve done this), would recommend them in this order:

  1. Rogue One
  2. A New Hope
  3. Empire Strikes Back
  4. Phantom Menace (optional depending on whether you think the Maul fight is worth enduring Jar Jar)
  5. Attack of the Clones
  6. Revenge of the Sith
  7. Return of the Jedi
  8. Force Awakens
  9. The Last Jedi

Now, a lot of orders forgo the Phantom Menace, and Rogue One. But, Rogue one is a stupendous film, and though it doesn’t fit especially well into the middle of the order (as it doesn’t involve the Jedi/Sith, etc), it functions perfectly as a prequel to the story. The prequels then function as an extended flashback, utilizing the time lapse between Empire and Return to good effect. It’s debatable whether you want to watch Menace in there too, as many people see Jar Jar and little Anakin as unworthy of two hours of their lives. However, the Maul Fight, getting to see Qui Gon Jinn again, and more Obi Wan is almost too good to pass up.

It can be argued that skipping it also gives a little more weight to Vader as you don’t see him as a weird kid, and just go straight in with the angsty and conflicted Anakin. But, if you’re going to skip Menace, then you may as well skip The Last Jedi and spare yourself that suffering too. Just pretend that the canon ends with Force Awakens, and cross your fingers for Solo: A Star Wars story to not be utter garbage.

I’m as big a Star Wars fan as a lot of people, and I’ll be sitting down today to watch some of them (I can’t do the full blast as I have to work, like an adult – sucks, I know), and in doing so, I’ll be paying tribute to one of the most beloved cinematic series in history. If you too, are intent on doing the same, then why not show your support by grabbing yourself a rad Star Wars self-gift? Here are our top picks for the coolest Star Wars gear around.

Possibly the greatest 30 seconds of my Star Wars experience came at the end of Rogue One where Vader boarded the rebel cruiser and proceeded to decimate the rebels in pursuit of the Death Star Plans. They’ve done Rogue One, Solo drops in a few weeks, there’s talks of an Obi Wan movie – but the biggest, baddest, more gnarly character of all still hasn’t had his moment in the sun. Maybe it’s just too big a risk for them to screw it up? Who knows. But, what I do know is that I never get tired of making lightsaber noises as I’m chopping veg wearing this thing. My girlfriend thinks I’m a weirdo, but one of these days, my force choke will work – and then she’ll be sorry.

Maybe we all like to think of ourselves as the Jedi of our own lives. But, it’s a double-edged sword. Being a Jedi Knight isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It forbids love, marriage, relationships, family. It forbids killing a defenseless opponent, or committing acts of revenge. It also considers all life precious, and that all emotion be removed from decisions. Basically, it’s like being a priest. However – it’s flawed. Even Obi Wan couldn’t stop himself from forming a brotherly attachment to Anakin and a fatherly attachment to Qui Gon. Luke too, formed attachments to all his companions. So in its essence, the Jedi Code was almost made to be broken, or at least does not govern who can and can’t be a ‘good’ Jedi. That’s some solace I get, and will let you wear this top with pride. It’s also great news if you intend on finding yourself someone to grow old with – just… if someone asks you whether you’ve heard the tale of Darth Plagueis the Wise – run. Trust me. Just run.

All ‘force-choke-me-harder-daddy’ and ‘we have cookies’ memes aside, being able to shoot lightning from your fingers, bring people back from the dead, and also wear black in total comfort no matter the weather are all stellar bonuses. Their code is also a lot freer too – calling for passion, anger, power, and ultimately victory. If you’re the sort of person that in RPG games you find yourself murdering innocent NPCs, choosing the most violent or harsh dialogue options – then I’ve got news for you. You’re probably a sith. And also, you should probably get help… But you know, after placing an order for one of these tops.

All Star Wars trivia aside, this is the nerdiest, coolest gadget around. And, it actually works. It makes better pancake-style treats than actual waffles, but still, it’s awesome. Sweet or savoury, it works really well. I never get tired of eating Star-Wars shaped foods. There’s always a strange sense of excited satisfaction when you open the lid and your eyes fall upon a perfectly formed Death Star Waffle. Dun dun dun dun-dunun, dun-dunun – duuun duuun duuun dun-dunun, dun-dunun. Dun, dun, dun, dun-dununun, dun-dun, dun-dununun, dun, dun-dunun, dun-dunun. Feel free to copy, paste, and use that at your discretion – and don’t pretend like you didn’t pitch-shift perfectly, despite there being no indication of how you should.

We’ve always hoped that Boba Fett would get his own story. There are stirrings, but nothing’s set in stone yet. He made a pretty swift exit considering how his character was shaping up, so when we were introduced to Jango (the clone-father of Boba) in the prequels, we revelled in the return of the Fetts as Bounty Hunters. He was doing well, too, until Mace Windu took his head. Still, dying at the hands of Samuel L Jackson is a pretty honorable (and cool) death. And now, you can show your support for the late, great Fett legacy by sporting this excellent front and back Bounty Hunter top. Talk about bang for your buck eh – just watch out for Sarlaccs.

Fun fact – Boba Fett didn’t die on Tatooine, despite falling into the Great Pit of Carkoon. Though not mentioned in the Canon, in the extended universe, he escaped and lived for some time after. There, now that’s a thing you know.

Whose banner are you carrying? 8 Awesome Game of Thrones House Themed Tees

If there’s one thing that Game of Thrones is great at doing, it’s making us hate someone, then love them, then hate them again. We’ve had our emotions toyed with repeatedly. If George RR Martin is a sadistic cat, we are the proverbial mouse, scrabbling for freedom, just to get a swift claw to the face (and heart). I refuse to rewatch the last two episodes of Season 3 simply because I can’t bear to see Rob’s crusade come to an end, again. Yeah, yeah, I know everyone got their comeuppance in the end, but I’ll always be in favour of the King of the North. Jon’s alright, but in my eyes, he’s no Robb.

And in that mode, I know that some prefer Jon. Others are firm believers in the true queen of Westeros. Others want to see Cersei succeed – ok, that’s a lie. And yet, it goes round and round. Were you rooting for Stannis? Did you want Ramsay to keep his wardenship? Did you want Mance Rayder to assume the iron throne? Or maybe you cling to a sliver a hope that little Lyanna Mormont might scramble through the ranks and lead us toward a better future.

Wherever your allegiances lie, you can be happy in the knowledge that there’s a tee for you to show it. So, without further adieu, feast your Westerosean eyes on these glorious tops.

 

House Stark: Winter is Coming T-Shirt

House Stark: Winter is Coming T-Shirt

Winter is coming. Sean Bean wouldn’t be Sean Bean without kicking the proverbial bucket. When he appeared back in the early 2000s as Boromir, we all fell in love with him a little – the long hair, the flowing cape, the sword. So, it was a case for celebration then, when it was announced he’d be heading up the cast for Game of Thrones. And yet, amongst that joy, there was a nagging sense of dread – a deep-seated angst that somehow, some way, it was all going to be too short lived. And boy were we right.

Richard Madden took the mantle, and boy did he shoulder it. I was always a Northman, and Robb Stark was my true King in the North. That’s why I’ll always rep the Stark colours. What about you?

 

Fire and Blood. For a while, we were all worried that Viserys would take the iron crown. Basically just a taller Joffrey, he likely would have been just as bad. But, where King’s Landing lacked a Dothraki horde, Essos did not. Viserys got his crown forthwith, and probably a little sooner than expected too. But, here we are, seven seasons later, and little Dany has grown up strong. She’s fireproof, got an entourage like Floyd Mayweather, commands a legion of dragons (ok, two, but still), and now she’s shacked up with her nephew. If that isn’t the epitome of a woman outside of patriarchal rule, I don’t know what is. But hey, all hail the queen, right? Let your dragons soar and fly the Targaryen flag!

 

Hear me roar. The Lannisters are a funny bunch. Brothers and sisters doing… yeah, bastard children, throne stealing, necromancy, child murdering, betrayal, weird haircuts, losing hands, crossbows and whores, getting shot on the toilet, and further to that patricide… And yet, we can’t help but love them. Cersei remains the constant thorn in our sides, but Jaime, once separated from her, became a beacon of hope for us. After he lost his hand, he became a lot more likeable, and after forming a bond with Brienne of Tarth, became almost human. I think we all even managed to repress the memory of him pushing Bran out of the tower window. And yet, I think the hand thing was penance enough. Jaime, we forgive you, just don’t arrange to have us killed, mmkay?

 

Ours is the fury. Robert Baratheon, first of his name, king of the Andals, yada yada, had a big heart, and belly, and ego, and penchant for women of the night. He also liked to drink, and hunt, and he grew a helluva beard. It’s a shame we never got to see him in his prime (not truly) as I’m sure everyone’s in agreement that that is the story we’d all love to see. Ned Stark and Robert Baratheon, side by side, rushing into battle. But no, we got stuck with fat Robert, grumpy old Stannis, and Renly who was promptly murdered by a smoke monster. What started out with so much promise, ended miserably for the Baratheons. And, not only did they die, but they also let the iron throne fall into the hands of the Lannisters. Talk about a clusterfudge. Still, Robert was the true king, even if he wasn’t very good, and if you’re a man of honor, then you’re still holding your Baratheon banners aloft.

 

Our blades are sharp… enough to stab a pregnant lady. I’ve seen the Red Wedding twice. The first time, I was horrified. The second time, I kept asking myself ‘Why the hell are you watching this again!?’ It’s a sad day, and whether you believe that it was Robb’s fault or not (I don’t, I just think Walder Frey is a jerk), you can’t argue with the fact that it was definitely overkill on the part of the Boltons. Under orders, yes, and with the title of Warden of the North hanging in the balance, I can almost understand Roose Bolton’s thinking. But still, come on – at a wedding? And yet, from the flames and the ashes was born Ramsay, the bastard son. Whether you think he was a good person or not, the sadistic glee that swept over us every time he came on screen was inescapable. And, what he did to Theon was justified too… Sort of. But, honor is honor. If I see you wearing one of these shirts, we’ll do battle. But, I probably won’t ever see you, so don’t let that stop you from buying it.

 

Growing strong. Oh jeez, where to begin? The first time we ever saw Margaery Tyrell, we all fell in love. Natalie Dormer, whether you’re a man or woman, straight or otherwise, is a smokeshow. She’s a strong, smart, beautiful woman, and she made absolute mincemeat of Tommen Baratheon, something for which we’ll forever be indebted. It took her three attempts to get her hands on the title of Queen, first with Renly, then with Joffrey, and finally with Tommen, but she got there, and while she reigned, life was good. But, as with all good things, they must come to an end. And, despite Olenna’s best efforts, valiant as they were, things did eventually go belly up, and everyone died. Olenna took her own life, and Loras, Margaery, and Mace all got obliterated during the Destruction of the Great Sept of Balor. It was a sad day for the Tyrells, but, no matter how strong their vines grew, they were not strong enough with withstand wildfire.

 

We do not sow. Perhaps the most hated family in all of Westeros, the Greyjoys are a bunch of seafaring morons. Instead of pledging themselves to one of the great houses in Westeros, they decided to pillage and raid instead. When Theon travelled back to see the help of his family on Robb’s behalf, the coward instead succumbed to his father’s argument, and decided to turn on the Starks and take Winterfell. Thankfully, neither Bran nor Rickon were killed during the raid, and their possession of the castle was short lived. Theon was captured, and subsequently lost his favourite appendage, and since then, things only got worse. It just goes to show that being a damn fool and a traitor doesn’t pay. And yet, they have the most awesome Sigil, and if you’re a pirate at heart, then pledge your allegiance to the Drowned God and set sail for new lands.

 

Unbowed, unbent, unbroken. The Red Viper of Dorne. Oberyn Martell. A glimmer of hope in an otherwise dark world. When we saw him face off on Tyrion’s behalf against The Mountain, one Ser Gregor Clegane, who, if you remember rightly beheaded his own horse in season one, we did not have high hopes. And yet, things seemed to look up. He’d all but bested the beast when he had his teeth punched out and his head exploded. Still – up until that point he was doing pretty well. What followed was an odd storyline that culminated with the death of Myrcella. Dorne was a beautiful place, and it’s just a shame that all it bore was death and pain. We wanted to champion them. We wanted to rally behind House Martell as they brought the Lannisters to their knees! But, foolish pride got in the way, and now, like all others who stood against the Lannisters, they lie battered and bruised. Unbowed, yes, unbent and unbroken – not so much. It was a good fight scene, though, right?

Check out our full collection of Game of Thrones Shirt here!

It doesn’t matter whose banners you’re flying, so long as you’re prepared to fight for them. We all look forward to the next season, even if it isn’t landing until 2019. Damn you HBO!

I want to be the very best (Like no one ever was) – 5 Poketastic Tops

Don’t pretend like you don’t know the words.

As soon as that theme kicks in, decades of nostalgia come crashing back. Hell, I’ll admit it – I still love Pokemon. And why not? Those guys shaped my childhood. Not a day went by that I didn’t sit down with Ash, Pikachu, Brock, and Misty. I’ll admit that life has gotten in the way these days and I haven’t been able to keep up with their latest on-screen adventures. But, I still own a 3DS, bought solely for the purpose of playing new Pokemon games when they come out. I think I have every title, on every system (including Colosseum and XD Gale of Darkness on Gamecube), and around six Pokemon shirts. Well, seven if you count the one currently on its way to me. And now, you can too…

Struggle & Improve Pokemon Tees Collection

I think we’re all Magikarp in our own way – struggling along, splashing fruitlessly until one day, we morph into a giant flying sea monster that shoots lazer beams from its unclosable mouth. Yes – the dream. But, beyond that, this tee says more. It’s a lesson for life. It’s a mantra to live by. Through great hardship comes great achievement. Per aspera ad astra! A famous Latin quote meaning ‘through hardship to the stars’. Success takes hard work. You have to be a Magikarp before you can be a Gyarados.

Going to the Gym Pokemon Tees Collection

Are you the sort of person who likes picking things up and then putting them down again? Do you like running for miles while you stare at a wall? Do you like driving to the gym cycling the distance from your house to where you are right now and then back again, without actually moving, and then driving home again? Well, if you do, then the gym might just be for you. Or, if you don’t then you can while away your hours in a real gym, where people force their pets to fight each other until one’s unconscious. And by real I mean fictional and virtual because I’m talking about Pokemon. But, you know, I’m a product description, not a cop, so you can wear this wherever you want.

Puffed my Jigglies Pokemon Tees Collection

I get to put these lists together, which is lucky because I get to choose the best tops and tees I think you’ll love. It was between this one, and another, but this just snuck in. I’ve saved the other for another post, so don’t worry – I just couldn’t deprive you of the ‘Puffed my Jigglies’ goodness. I’ve actually bought this for my girlfriend. I just hope she finds it as hilarious as I do. Just in case, I made it a men’s large, so I can wear it if she doesn’t. That’s a pro-tip for relationships. If you buy stuff in your size, you can always wear it if she doesn’t. Though, it doesn’t work quite so well for sexy underwear – trust me.

Dragon Evolution Pokemon Tees Collection

Ah, Dragonite, the pseudo-legendary. I always thought it must have been weird for Dragonite. Like, it grows up as a worm thing that swims, and then evolves into a more majestic worm dragon, and then out of nowhere – BAM! Arms, legs, wings. Any Dragonite evolving must have been like ‘Woah, what are these things coming out of my body? Are those… Feet? I have arms now? And Wings?! My world has been turned upside down!’ And I bet you never even thought of that, did you. Well, now you have. Welcome to my brain – in here, it’s always a party. But, anyway, this nested graphic tee is awesome, and it features one of the most awesome Mons from Gen 1. It also comes in a bunch of different colours too. Neat!

Legendary Dogs Beasts Pokemon Tees Collection

I love the legendary dogs. They’re my favourite legendaries of all. They’re so damn cool, and absolute monsters on the field, too. Silver, Gold, and Crystal did an awesome job of making them catchable, but near impossible to catch up to. I spent hours randomly flying around Johto trying to luck into the same route or city as the dog I was chasing, only to find it would flee or Roar me away on the first turn, and disappear again. I caught it eventually, as we all did, and treasured it thereafter. CM TBolt Raikou also became a staple part of my OU competitive team, and swept many teams into oblivion. I have this tee, and I wear it proudly – as should you, if you feel as strongly as I do about Gen 2 being the best Gen.

 

And as a bonus, here are the full [tv] lyrics. Sing it loud – sing it proud.

I wanna be the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Teach Pokémon to understand
The power that’s inside

Pokémon (Gotta catch ’em all), it’s you and me
I know it’s my destiny
(Pokémon!)
Oh, you’re my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokémon (Gotta catch ’em all), a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me, and I’ll teach you
Po-ké-mon
(Gotta catch ’em all!)
Gotta catch ’em all!
Pokémon!

 

Poke Rangers Assemble – 7 Awesome Pokemon Power Ranger Crossover Tees

The nineties were a simpler time. I look at kids these days, playing on their iPhones at ten years old, and I’m thinking – damn, at that age, I was playing with sticks, and Gameboys. I remember the struggle of having to play pokemon red in the strobe of streetlights, navigating a few steps every five seconds, holding the Gameboy up to the window and squinting fruitlessly as the unlit screen. I remember rushing home from school to catch Power Rangers before it started, otherwise I wouldn’t get to see who they were fighting or why. No streaming, no wi-fi, no live pause. Nothing. There was also no CGI, so when the Rangers fought, it was all real, baby. If you too yearn for a simpler time, and want to don your favourite ranger colours, as well as show off your poke spirit, then these tops may just be for you.

Red Poke Ranger Charizard Tee Shirt

Red Poke Ranger Charizard Tee Shirt

I always liked red ranger, the tough sonovagun that he was. It’s only fitting then that his spirit pokemon is Charizard – leading Ash’s team of pokemon in the same way that Jason Scott led the Rangers. He was a Karate Black Belt, and fearlessly tackled any foe, much like the over-zealous Charizard (when he could be bothered, that was). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers hit our screens in 1993, but they’ll live forever in our hearts.

 

Pink Poke Ranger Jigglypuff Tee Shirt

Pink Poke Ranger Jigglypuff Tee Shirt

Kimberly Hart was my first real crush. There’s just something so beautiful about a woman who can beat alien baddies into submission. She was a knockout in more than one way. And now, she’s been reincarnated as a sweater with Jigglypuff on it. Cute on the outside, but a total badass behind the scenes? Sounds perfect to me.

 

Blue Poke Ranger Blastoise Tee

The blue ranger was always the smart one. So, I think choosing Blastoise is apt. Even though Ash’s squirtle never evolved into one, he still left behind his life of crime to join the trio on their journey through Kanto. And, if you ask me, that’s a pretty smart move. Ipso facto, Blastoise is a great blue ranger. Your argument is invalid.

 

Green Poke Ranger Vanusaur Tee

Tommy Oliver was the most powerful of the Rangers. So, it’s fitting then that Venusaur gets to rep him. Hey – don’t you dare try and tell me Venusaur isn’t the best starter evo. I will fight you. I will. Don’t believe me? Uch, you’re thinking too small. He is the best UU shadow sweeper, or at least he was for me, clean sweeping so many unsuspecting teams thinking he was a Seed Shuffler. EVs stacked in attack with a HP, Spec Def split running Swords Dance, Seed Bomb, Leech Seed, Protect. One word: powerhouse. Don’t understand any of that? Then you don’t deserve to wear the colours of the Green Ranger or Venusaur anyway.

 

Yellow Poke Ranger Pikachu Tee

The yellow ranger, Trini, was described by Zordon as having ‘Lightning hands’. He meant that she had fast punches, but with Pikachu picking up the mantle, it works on more than one level. We all loved Pikachu, the little electric rascal that he was, and if wearing yellow didn’t clash with my hair colour, then I’d buy this. But it does, so I’m going Green Ranger. Still, every Rangers team needs a Yellow ranger like every Ash Ketchum homage playthrough of Pokemon Yellow requires a Pikachu. You know what I’m talking about.

 

Black Poke Ranger Onix Tee

I always loved the Black Ranger. His dance style of martial arts was always so fun to watch, and he always kicked butt. Onix doesn’t really have much in common with him, except for the fact that they’re both awesome – obviously. Onix is an excellent pokemon, and it pained me that they made him a dual ground/rock type, basically rendering him utterly useless against a water and grass types. Sure, he picked up an electric immunity, but in competitive battling, who the heck sends out a freaking Zapdos or Electivire against a rock type anyway? Onyx was shunted into obscurity, but I’ll always remember him fondly, and there’ll always be a spot for him on my team.

 

White Poke Ranger Mewtwo Tee

Tommy Oliver not only made his debut as the Green Ranger, but also went on to hold the coveted title of the White Ranger, a super powerful member of several teams over the years. Many have donned the colour, and the white ranger has always served as one of the most powerful members of each team. Perhaps timeless then is a good word to describe the white ranger – kind of like a legendary pokemon, like say, I don’t know, MewTwo. If you wear the white ranger outfit, then you need to understand what that means. It’s not just a tee, it’s a responsibili-tee… See what I did there?

8 Bit Revolution – 6 Excellent Gamer Tees and Tops to Satiate Your Inner Geek

Gaming has come on leaps and bounds in the last forty years. What started as a humble group of pixels and boops has now evolved into a nigh indistinguishable-from-reality experience. With VR, immersive gameplay, and graphics that continue to exceed expectations, we’re moving at a faster pace than ever before. But, it’s important to remember our childhoods, when things were simpler, but no less fun. Franchises have come and gone. Some have lasted the test of time, others hand withered into history. But, it’s nothing to be sad about, because they’ll always live on, in our hearts, and in our minds.

 

So, what we did was round up five awesome gaming tops, just for you.

Legend of Zelda Tee Top

Pocket Link Legend of Zelda Tee Collection

Few franchises have enjoyed the longevity and continued success that the Legend of Zelda series has. With 22 games in the series, it’s the 20th best selling series franchise of all time with 80 million copies having been sold across all platforms. Now, that may not sound like much, but when compared to franchises like Mario, Pokemon, and Call of Duty, it’s not half bad! This somewhat understated top is the perfect balance of fanboy and fashionable, is actually something that you can wear day to day. It’s cool, right?

Street fighter Tee

Ken Ryu Academy Street Fighter Tee Collection

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve got lots of memories way back when of staying up late with friends, and playing Streetfighter into the early hours of the morning. I’ve also got memories of people getting into trouble in school for yelling Hadouken, and then swiftly kicking each other when they failed to blast their opponent with their ranged attacks. This tee brings the retro classic into the modern day with a cool academy style design. And, if you do want to work up a sweat, it comes in a hoodie too.

Pikachu streetfighter top

Electric Types Fight! Street Fighter Tee Collection

A throwback, this shirt brings two famous video game characters into contention. Blanka vs. Pikachu. Who would win? Blanka has a bit of a mixed history. In the Japanese version, his green skin is attributed to his need to blend into a jungle environment. In the American version, it’s a byproduct of getting struck by lightning. I’m not sure which to believe, or whether it really matters. But, if you want to be able to [mildly] wow someone with your obscure video game knowledge, now you can. You’re welcome.

 

Challenger Approaching Super Smash Bros Tee Collection

Smash Bros is something I still play. It’s a great game that everyone can get in on, though it does get a little difficult to see who you’re playing as. This top brings together one of the most famous messages that appears on screen when a new character enters the arena. Super Smash Bros was one of the original big crossover games, published by Nintendo, which brought together the most well known characters from other games published on its console. It came from a simpler time, when consumer enjoyment was the main focus, not blowing other consoles and publishers out of the water. Ah, those were the days.

Save Gas Ride a Chocobo Final Fantasy Tee Collection

Would any list of gamer tops and tees be complete without Final Fantasy? I for one, think not. Published way back in 1987, Final Fantasy was the brainchild of Hironobu Sakaguchi. Never heard of him? I’m not surprised. He’d not put his name to anything of note before, really, and when it came to Final Fantasy, it was to be his last ditch attempt at making a worthwhile game. The name spawned from his feelings towards it, that it would be his own Final Fantasy, before he hung up his Nintendo for good and went back to university. Luckily for him, it gained traction, spawned a global sensation and went on to forge a path along which no less than fifteen games in the main series, and more than twice as many spin-offs, remakes, ports, and adaptations. Following the success of FF, Sakaguchi stayed with the series, directing the first five games, and staying on as a producer for the following four before stepping away in a creative capacity altogether. Talk about a swan-song!

Team Rocket Tee Pokemon Shirt Collection

As a kid, you hate Jesse and James. But, as you grow older, and enter into your own workplace and face the stresses that all adults do, you begin to realise that they’re just trying to get by. They’re broke, starving, and on the verge of being fired. They haven’t slept in a decent bed for years, and their mandate is to chase kids across the country and steal a damn Pikachu! Talk about getting the short end of the stick. And on top of that, they’ve got a list of approved pokemon they can use? What’s that about? It’s basically Koffins, Grimers, and Zubats. As if there weren’t enough Zubats in Mt Moon and Rock Tunnel! Jeez, you just can’t get away from them. With 151 Pokemon to choose from, I never understood why everyone had to have a damn Zubat.

 

So, that’s it, for this time. Our top picks of excellent gaming tees and tops, from Zelda to Zubat, from Streetfighter to Smash Bros. But, if nothing takes your fancy, fear not, because let’s face it – you’re kinda spoilt for choice!

Rick and Morty is back for 70 more episodes – And here at 5 tops to celebrate!

Rick and Morty is inspired by Back to the Future. If you didn’t know that, then that’s kinda amazing – it’s pretty obvious. What’s more amazing, though, is that it’s just been confirmed that there are no less than 70 – read, 70 (gosh I wish I could capitalize numbers) episodes.

So, that’s a buttload more schwifty, a buttload more burping, and a buttload more Mr Poopy Butthole, now that he’s recovered from being shot by Beth. Whoops.

And, to celebrate this epic, awesome, super fantastic news, here are 5 – check it, 5 awesome Rick and Morty tees and tops you should own.

rick and morty tees tops

Free Rick! Rick and Morty Tops Collection

It was the end of Season 2, we’d all just laughed at the tiny planet gag, and things were looking grim for old Rick Sanchez. He was behind bars. And not just regular bars either. It was the Council of Ricks that had him locked up. But, we weren’t worried, not about Rick C137 – our Rick, the best Rick. But, just in case this was some heroic act of martyrdom, we made these shirts to show our support. Be a shame to let them go to waste, right?

 

Mr Poopy Butthole Rick and Morty Tees Collection

Mr Poopy Butthole was a strange one. During the parasite episode, you know the Sleepy Gary one, we were introduced to him. But, it was a double bluff. Anyone worth their salt would have said he was a parasite, but if you watched the opening credits closely, you would have seen him placed into every shot. So, sneakily, he was threaded into the history of Rick and Morty, which meant that when he was shot by Beth, it was all the more devastating. The ensuing emotional trauma was horrifying, and made only more tumultuous by the ensuing clips of him slowly recovering. Damn, Beth, you cold.

 

 

show me what you got rick and morty tees tops

Show Me What You Got Rick and Morty Tops Collection

Get schwifty. Possibly the most iconic saying from the series. It’s just one of those little catchphrases that resonates in a way that few things do. Much like Joey’s ‘How you doing?’ and Bender’s ‘Bite my shiny metal ass!’, ‘Get schwifty’ will live on in history as a thing that kids say without having ever seen an episode of Rick and Morty. What a time to be alive. This episode is one of my favourites, and it must be the favourite of plenty of others too for them to make a shirt out of it.

 

Mr Meeseeks Can Do! Rick and Morty Top Collection

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry… You just had to go and ask, didn’t you. Shave two shots off my golf game. Simple things, Jerry! Simple things! What started off as an innocent request turned into a full-blown suicide-fest. One of the more insane episodes, the Meeseeks became an immediate fan favourite, and here’s the top to prove it.

Mr Meeseeks Box Rick and Morty Top Collection

After what happened last time, I’m not surprised that Morty doesn’t want to take the box. It turned into a bit of a cluster fudge, and no one’s keen to relive that. Did you hear that Jerry even quit golf because of it? This is one of the more outlandish shirts on sale, but it will tell people two things: one, you love Rick and Morty, and two, you don’t really care what people think.

 

We’ve got lots of Rick and Morty stuff on offer, and these are just some of our top picks. Click on any of the tops above to head over to the store and see the full range!